Friday, April 22, 2011

Socioclean is an Idiot

Socioclean claims to help you protect your online reputation by scanning your profile (status updates, wall posts, groups and photo captions and comments) and alert you to all the naughtiness you've accumulated over the years.

I expected to do relatively badly but this is ridiculous!! CODE RED, PEOPLE!!!

And what are the areas I need to work on?? Sex, drugs, alcohol, profanity and RACISM?? WTF? WTFFFF? I've been called a messy, sweary whore too many times for it to have any impact (and that's just by my mum), but I'm pretty sure I've never been called a racist. So I went to investigate.

These are the terms that Sociotwat classed as RACIAL:

Status update: free chips + kaffir lime margarita = delicious dinner fail

Post comment (OBVIOUSLY not me): this video thrives on objectification and the sanctification of a pliant, complacent Madonna/Whore figure calculated to appease a base and retrograde male desire

Post comment (also not mine): This is made by some hick in america, what can i do about it? 

Post comment (by me): The one where Father Ted becomes a racist is pretty speccy

Socioclean you owe me an apology! Has anyone even used kaffir in the non-citrus sense in my lifetime?? Cos if kaffir lime margaritas are evidence of racism then I'm pretty much that guy that denies the holocaust. Also - how is 'whore' or 'hick' racial? I PERSONALLY AM NOW OFFENDED - AS A WOMAN - THAT YOU HAVE A 'RACIAL' SECTION AND NOT A MISOGYNY SECTION OR AN ELITISM SECTION? Hmmmm!? Out-politically correct that, SocioMEAN!

And also, how is using the word 'racist' evidence of racism?! Have you ever heard "OMG guys, need something to read before I get on this long-haul flight. Anyone read any really good racist books recently? Cos I'm a massive racist! Yewww!!"

Moving on, here is Socioclean's evidence of DRUGS:

Off to Bill Bailey!

The saddest thing about MJ's death is Channel 9's attempts to string out the story with exceptionally spurious interviews with people who may or may not have ever met him

How are there drugs which the Sunday Telegraph has not attempted to make me scared of yet?? Are there 12-year-olds in Macquarie Fields buying MJ at school and selling their bodies for a sweet, sweet hit of Bailey?? WHY IS THIS GOING UNREPORTED????


Confession: I chortle every time the VO says "dentist-inspired cupping action" in the Oral-B ad.

Prince Andrew revealed to be enormous twat #notreallynews

Signed up with Virgin for iPhone 4 YAY!

Thomas Dux soundtrack today: "To the windows, to the walls, til the sweat drip down my balls. Ah skeet skeet muthafu-" *emergency track change*

HA! That first one was sexual - but not the bit you thought Socioclean!!!! Second one not sexual, merely republican. Third one clearly relating to telecommunications. Fourth one- OK, you got me there Socioclean.


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OMG!! Yay! Cos the only thing worse than a drunk, stoned, slutty racist is an angry drunk, stoned, slutty racist.


And why the hell do you have all these social media logos on your homepage WHEN YOU ONLY SUPPORT FACEBOOK????

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