Friday, July 30, 2010

The Internet Animal Orchestra



By Rathergood, the folks who brought you such all-time internet gems such as:

We Like The Moon ('Cos It Is Close To Us)


Beyonce as interpreted by Northern English kitten band


And who could forget their Electric Six Gay Bar video tribute featuring an effeminate prince riding a flying hippo, with bunnies:

My Last Day At Work :(



But they made me an awesome card!!! Straight to the pool room with benevolent despot intertubez poneh!

Thanks guys - missing y'all already.

xox

The Joy Of Sax



*throws self @ Samberg*

Thanks Sully for the heads up! (Actually I stole it from his Facebook wall. What? It came up in my feed!)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Interspecies Friendship: BABY ZEDONK




Cute!

Usually interspecies friendship leads to nothing more than epically cute photo opportunities. That's why this cute little zedonk - product of the affection of a male zebra for a female donkey - is so special.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

"Celestial" "Soul" "PORTRAITS"


Sick of all those dull photos of you that exclude your true "Essence?" Are your albums filled with snaps that lack content from "Astral Planes?" Do you just want to be seen as you really are - wearing a wizard hat, brandishing a crystal wand and riding the fuck out of a Celestial Goddess Dolphin Totem?


Just follow these easy "steps:"


And you could go from stretch fabric:


TO SIEGFRIED-AND-ROY-STAGE-HAND-SPECTACULAR:


From cheerleader:


TO CHAKRA-CADABRA-CETACEAN-CHILLIN':


From mild personality disorder:


TO SERENADING-SUBTROPICAL-SEX-ALIEN:


And from not allowed within 200 metres of a primary school:


TO FUCK-OFF-LASER-ZEUS-BRING-ME-YOUR-SONS:


Erial also does family portraits.

World Watch: Uganda's Contributions To YouTube


This summer, the best post FX and homophobic tirades this side of the Democratic Republic of the Congo:




Stalinist Suburbia



In passive aggressive suburbia, rocking horse rides you.

Vincent Van Rageguy




TeeFUUUUUUUUURY.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

PedoKitty


Two great tastes that taste great together.


(WTF? Pedobear)

Legends Make Awesome Wheelcouch


Uptight University promptly bans it.


Internet ensures their legacy lives on.

Hard Day's Night Of The Living Dead



FOR GOD'S SAKE, SOMEONE TRIP RINGO - TAKE IT FOR THE TEAM!

Katy Parody


The gays:


The Pennsylvania Guys:


The dorks:


The guidos:

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Mai Jobz



Dey ar advertized.

I had to write the job description for my replacement at work. ROFLCOPTER!

It's A Truth Universally Acknowledged


That a single woman, in possession of a bonnet, wants to kick the shit out of someone.


Keyboard Cat THE REEEEEEEEEEDUX



Ron Livingston as Keyboard Cat.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Socially Awkward Penguin













POSTS ADMISSION OF SOCIAL FAILING

FEAR READERS' JUDGEMENT - EDIT POST

As much as we'd all love to be Courage Wolves, there's a little Socially Awkward Penguin in all of us.

Burnbook



Lamebook.

Autopederasty



Thanks to the new Blogger Stats function I was just informed that the most people who discovered Teh Pony through Google were searching "autopederasty." Welcome to the fourth most pre-eminent interwebz authority on the subject!

HUZZAH!

ABBOTT DOES NOT WANT



He ordered the fish, not the abortion souffle.

Found on Jenny's Facebook page.

*waves @ Jenny*

Thursday, July 22, 2010

MasterSith



Like Cool.

Douchetags


Reddit has an interesting theory:


And Amy provides supporting anecdotal evidence:


But in the interests of balance I must provide refutation:

The Fucking Word Of The Day




Here's your fucking link.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Randy Rainbow Chats To His New Boyfriend



Perfect $#@^&%$#(%$@#^$ match!

Not For Nannas





Jessica Harrison makes those porcelain figures you can order out of the TV guide.

BUT NOT.

The Shocking Reality Of Donkey Cruelty



Many haters over the years have derided my retirement plans of establishing the Rest Your Ass Donkey Sanctuary and Pugs-In-Animal-Costumes Petting Zoo. I'm not going to name them here because I'm just not that kind of person. Y'all know who you are.

I hope after you view this shocking video you will come to understand the urgent need to protect donkeys (or FugPonies, as I like to call them) from the extreme and increasingly creative lengths people will go to in expressing their hatred for our asinine friends.

Mel Gibson & Old Spice Guy Have A Phone Chat



If you're gonna get pwned, get pwned by the best.

DOUBLE RAINBOW: ALL THE WAY ACROSS REAL LIFE



Thanks Jason for the heads up!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Internet Dubsteps On Jessi Slaughter


You ain't internet famous until you're dubstep REEEEEEEMIX internet famous.



Someone call the cyber police! *woop woop*

WTF? In case you missed it, Jessi Slaughter is an eleven-year-old girl whose webcam broadcasts apparently delight untold numbers of her fellow scene tweens. Her profile led to rumours of a romantic relationship between her and (the much older) Dahvie Vanity (LULZ, pic below), lead singer of emo band Blood on the Dance Floor being posted on scene tween gossip site Stickydrama. (Do you feel old yet?)


Well, I don't need to explain that on the internet haters gonna hate, and hate they did, trolling Jessi as she webcammed away from her bedroom. Jessi did not appreciate said trolls messing on her 'tubez so she made the incredibly unfortunate move of posting this video response:


Yes, it's obnoxious but it also makes me thank Raptor Jesus in Heaven that webcams were invented after I reached puberty. The internet was not so kind in its assessment (SURPRISE!) and the (admittedly humorous) sweary sass-a-thon found its way to the deepest, darkest, meanest corner of the internet: the 4chan /b/ board. 4chan decided to teach the angry diva a lesson and proceeded to track down her real name (no, Slaughter isn't on her birth certificate), address, telephone number and pages on various social networks, which they spammed into oblivion. They also ordered numerous pizzas to her house and prank called her, impersonating the police and child services.

So where the hell are this kid's parents, right? She's 11 years old, do they know what kind of material she's publishing online? Someone must be monitoring wh- oh, wait - there they are:


And so the local cyber police force arrived on their bacon-flavoured narwhal-copters, 4chan ended up with life @hotjail.com and consequences were never the same again, ever after. Then the Slaughter family woke up and realised the last sentence had all been a wonderful dream and in fact the video of Mr Slaughter's slightly irate suggestions turned out to be the most LOL-worthy of them all and sealed Jessi's unfortunate fate as viral video victim du jour. (It's not all bad, look at Star Wars Kid, he went and got a law degree once they de-institutionalised him!)

Millions of views later and Jessi's family has been put under police protection after alleged death threats, Jessi has been ordered by a court not to access the internet, Gawker - a website that criticised 4chan for picking on the kid - has also been raided by 4chan (it's still loading very slowly at the time of posting) and 4chan appears to have seeded an internet rumour that Jessi has killed herself.

*sigh*

You know I love you internet, and yes her parents were negligent, but I think you took this one too far. And that comes from a place of love, remember that.

Please, please don't hurt me.

Your Bitter Custody Battle



You're holding it wrong.

#shakespalin


Sarah Palin compares herself to Shakespeare on Twitter:


Twitter thanks her:

Monday, July 19, 2010

Emo Dad





Mum's already hidden the razors in anticipation of him finding out they've stopped airing M*A*S*H* re-runs.

The Adventures of Accordion Guy.