Thursday, January 29, 2009

FUCK YEAH SHARKS




FUCK YEAH SHARKS.

Note to Next of Kin:


Bury me in this.

And play Venga Boys.


Hamburger Dress


Almost enough to make me want to knit.

Almost.

Friday Funny: Round Two

Thanks John!! This joke is my new favourite.

A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off but there's a woman still
getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is
killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's
Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat
in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers
the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds
of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is
still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never
happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets.
Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting
on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for
murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined
to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the
whole of Texas .

The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the
executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the
condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.
The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas . When the
smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The
executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once
again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time
killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The
executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I
have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands
over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner
pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke
rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be
alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that
green banana isn't it" he asked.

Nahh" said the bloke,

"I'm just a really bad conductor"
 

Gymnastics FAIL



Thanks Ben for the heads up!

Wax Your Floors the Safe Way


How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping And Severing Your Spine

Thanks for the hot tip Mo!!


Friday Funny/Popbitch Bits


"Dr, would you kiss me?" says the patient. 
"No", says the doctor. "You are a very beautiful 
woman but it's against my code of ethics.

"Please, just one kiss", she asks again.
"It's totally out of the question" he replies. 
"Strictly speaking you shouldn't even be sucking my cock."

The remnants of birds hit by, or flying into, 
airplanes are called Snarge.

An echidna baby is called a puggle. (Not to be 
confused with a cross between a pug and a beagle).

Popbitch.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Hellzapoppin'



This is AWESOME! They need to bust this out on So You Think You Can Dance...

Patrick Gannon's Paper Art





Paper Cuts is New Jersey-born, Tokyo-based Patrick Gannon's website. Check out his beautiful paper art and head to the shop if you want a little slice of his Japanese-flavoured loveliness for yourself.


Frat Dolphin


Epic, epic stoner tattoo. I bet this dude left college and became a lawyer. LOL.


Man Cakes


Mmmmm. Tasty man cake. Suitable for weddings, birthdays, funerals. 


This dude has drained two champagnes and fallen asleep on the Abominable Snowman I think. Sexy! I love a man who is comfortable with his sexuality. 


Betti has gone for an erotic Canadian seal clubber. Lucky Lady indeed! Check how he is throttling it with a nonchalantly placed elbow! Betty, you old fox!


Pretty sure this was an erotic Obama Inauguration Day cake. Grrrrrrr. Smashing white supremacy never tasted so good!

My Dad Is A FOB


HOWDIDOODI, DAUGHTY? PERIOD.

December 23, 2008 

Hi daughty.

Howdidoodi?

Here are some more real cute photos. We ARE ALL real cute people PERIOD No Question about it. What’s your thought?

Take care…See you soon!!

Love always,
Dad


BIG SHOT

December 25, 2008 

In NYC, going to see a Broadway play. Earlier, my dad had lamented his bringing the wrong suit jacket with us.

Dad: So we’re taking the subway?
Me: Yeah. I don’t want to worry about parking.
Dad: It’s a good thing I didn’t bring my nice jacket. I don’t want to look like a big shot on the train. [looks in the mirror; grins] I still look like a big shot.


I MEANT…

December 26, 2008 

after a friend gives me a ride home

Dad: Bye Andy, thank you for riding my daughter.


BUMBO BEES AND SEXY GIRLS

December 28, 2008 

I use Wacom Tablet on Photoshop a lot, like I uss last night for my Photography project 4, we are doing multiple shots, so I shooting the transformer the bumbo bee, and I show teacher, teacher said it’s ok but it’s will be boring when you want to put the text… and I should some how make it interesting…  So, I did, I use photoshop liquify tool to change the car to wired shape, and down load a nude girl picture from internet, of course, I use WACOM tablet pen tool paint the 2 black strike line like the car has on the girl body, and finally, I draw the girl face with Transformer metal face, HA HA, I think that will be fun for the bumbo able to transfer from machine to sexy girl….

PS. What I try to say its that I also use Wacom Tablet on my work and projects.

Daddy


My Dad is a Fob.

Tim McEvoy


States on his website that he was born in and still resides in Omaha and was raised on hot dogs and Catholicism. There are a lot of hot dogs in his acrylic on canvas works.











Cutest Fish Distributor



New York Shitty.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Blow-Up Doll Windbreaker


Sander Reijgers is a Dutch artist and the genius who made this:


Which is awesome until someone starts humping the back of your head.

Sorry Mom


Hahahahahaha. Girl uses blog to bitch about guys she has slept with. Nasty and self-deprecating. Schadenfreude WIN.


"I was totally digging this guy’s long messy curly hair so he came over to my house and was an awesome kisser, but then right when we were about to bang he pulled a baggie out of his pocket and said “I’m going to go smoke this pill.” Uh-oh."

The Gay Alphabet

Indian AIDS Public Service Announcement



We have to sit through ridiculous "eat less move more" anti-obesity ads and "don't drink or your boyfriend will punch you in the face and some bitch will film you having awkward sex at a party" anti-binge drinking campaigns.

India has widespread AIDS to deal with and still they come up with this GOLD!



Interactive Youtube: Play Barack Paper Scissors



Cute idea and it's actually pretty fun! The guy pays you out when you lose, which appeals to me :)

Chinese New Year Someecards





Slightly late, slightly offensive. Kung hei fat choi y'all!

Clone Trooper Walkie Talkie Watch Set


So cool, so many applications... I'm gonna start a secret Star Wars gang and give these out to all the members.

C L Martin




I can't find out that much about this artist. Other than they like tortoises (they have a pet tortoise called Audrey), sodomites, molluscs and -isms. Which are four perfectly reasonable interests in my opinion.

I'm not sure if it's a guy or a girl. But C L Martin makes amazing creepy dolls.

Check C L Martin out at Juxtapoz and also under the name Adnagaporp at Deviant Art.

If Movie Posters Were Honest


What would happen if, instead of making up bogus film critics from papers which don't exist, movie posters just told the truth...







Holy Taco.

Hot Chicks With Douchebags


Awesome. Garbage Gang Douche.


Douche 4 life


An ass among asses


"I fully needed this chick to point to the detailing in my hair, cos it's so subtle and shit."


Powerful...


Bro. Yours guns are actually bigger than your head. Epic proportion fail.


Oh my. I can't wait for the douchebag trend to migrate from the US to Australia. We have lads and plain old knobs but really no ridiculously orange, proper douchebags yet. Definitely something to look forward to. 

Barfing Unicorn



Check out Craftzine for the link to instructions to make your very own Vomicorn. 

Laser Eye Surgery



Tee hee. 'Nobber.' LOL.


B3ta.

Green Graf






Edina Todoki is an eco-friendly graffiti artist based in Brooklyn, NY. She makes moss stencils of animals and patterns and puts them up around the city. Her art is designed to be touched by the passer-by and evoke memories of a time when gardens and animals abounded in city life.

Edina's Mosstika site.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Star Wars Fine Art Photoshop Competition






Awww, cherubic Yoda is the CUTEST!!! Although that Boba Femme is a bit of alright as well!