Thursday, January 29, 2009
He rings the bell for the driver to set off but there's a woman still
getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is
killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's
Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat
in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers
the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds
of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is
still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never
The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets.
Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting
on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for
murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined
to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the
whole of Texas .
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the
executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the
condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.
The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas . When the
smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The
executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once
again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time
killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The
executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I
have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands
over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner
pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke
rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be
alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that
green banana isn't it" he asked.
Nahh" said the bloke,
"I'm just a really bad conductor"
How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping And Severing Your Spine
"Dr, would you kiss me?" says the patient.
"No", says the doctor. "You are a very beautiful
woman but it's against my code of ethics.
"Please, just one kiss", she asks again.
"It's totally out of the question" he replies.
"Strictly speaking you shouldn't even be sucking my cock."
The remnants of birds hit by, or flying into,
airplanes are called Snarge.An echidna baby is called a puggle. (Not to be
confused with a cross between a pug and a beagle).
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Here are some more real cute photos. We ARE ALL real cute people PERIOD No Question about it. What’s your thought?
Take care…See you soon!!
In NYC, going to see a Broadway play. Earlier, my dad had lamented his bringing the wrong suit jacket with us.
Dad: So we’re taking the subway?
Me: Yeah. I don’t want to worry about parking.
Dad: It’s a good thing I didn’t bring my nice jacket. I don’t want to look like a big shot on the train. [looks in the mirror; grins] I still look like a big shot.
after a friend gives me a ride home
Dad: Bye Andy, thank you for riding my daughter.
I use Wacom Tablet on Photoshop a lot, like I uss last night for my Photography project 4, we are doing multiple shots, so I shooting the transformer the bumbo bee, and I show teacher, teacher said it’s ok but it’s will be boring when you want to put the text… and I should some how make it interesting… So, I did, I use photoshop liquify tool to change the car to wired shape, and down load a nude girl picture from internet, of course, I use WACOM tablet pen tool paint the 2 black strike line like the car has on the girl body, and finally, I draw the girl face with Transformer metal face, HA HA, I think that will be fun for the bumbo able to transfer from machine to sexy girl….
PS. What I try to say its that I also use Wacom Tablet on my work and projects.
States on his website that he was born in and still resides in Omaha and was raised on hot dogs and Catholicism. There are a lot of hot dogs in his acrylic on canvas works.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Hahahahahaha. Girl uses blog to bitch about guys she has slept with. Nasty and self-deprecating. Schadenfreude WIN.
I can't find out that much about this artist. Other than they like tortoises (they have a pet tortoise called Audrey), sodomites, molluscs and -isms. Which are four perfectly reasonable interests in my opinion.
Edina Todoki is an eco-friendly graffiti artist based in Brooklyn, NY. She makes moss stencils of animals and patterns and puts them up around the city. Her art is designed to be touched by the passer-by and evoke memories of a time when gardens and animals abounded in city life.