Sunday, March 1, 2009

Not Always Right

This awesome little blog is a repository of all the stupid things customers say to their long-suffering service people.

Anyone who had a part time retail job while they were studying will find this hilarious!

Close Encounters Of The Dumb Kind


Me: “Thank you for calling **** support.”

Customer: “Um…I don’t think you’re going to believe this….”

Me: “What seems to be the issue today?”

Customer: “I think my computer was abducted!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I went to bed last night and my computer was on my dining room table. I woke up this morning late for work and rushed out the door. As I backed out of the driveway, I heard a crunch, and I figured it was a trash can or something.”

Me: “…OK. And what does this have to do with your computer, sir?”

Customer: “Well, when I checked it out it was my computer under the back tire. But I swear that it was still inside the house when I went to bed last night!”

Me: “OK sir, unfortunately your warranty does not cover extraterrestrial damage, so any repairs to the computer will have to be paid with a credit card.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I don’t want it fixed! I just wanted to let you know that your computers attract aliens. My insurance company already replaced it. I’m just waiting for it to arrive now.” *click*

All Games Rated D For Delicious


(A coworker and I are chatting at the counter, when a guy comes up and dumps a Playstation 3
onto the counter.)

Customer: “It’s defective.”

Coworker: “I’m very sorry, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Nothing happens when I plug it into my TV.”

Coworker: “OK, let me check on one of the ones we have.”

(My coworker takes the Playstation 3 and plugs it into a TV we have. It works fine.)

Coworker: “It doesn’t appear to be the Playstation 3. It’s probably the TV. Would you like to bring that in for us to have a look at?”

Customer: “Yeah. OK. I’ll bring it in later.”

(The customer grabs the Playstation 3 and leaves. He returns a few hours later and walks up to me, alone this time.)

Customer: “Hey, you were with the guy who served me earlier, right?”

Me: “Yes. You have the TV, sir?”

(The customer dumps the strangest TV ever onto the counter with the Playstation 3 beside it.)

Customer: “Here. It’s still not working.”

Me: *holding back laughter* “Sir, this isn’t a TV. It’s a microwave.”

Customer: “Duh! I know that!”

Me: “I don’t think the Playstation 3 will work on it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because it’s a microwave. It’s used to cook food, not play games.”

Customer: “But it has a screen. Why wouldn’t it work?”

Me: *facepalm*

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