Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Dad Is A FOB


FOSHIZZLE MY NIZZLE

February 11, 2009 

the other day, i was asking my dad if i could go out and here’s the convo:

me: can i go out with my friends?
dad: foshizzle.
me: what?
dad: foshizzle. it’s now free enterprise because we have black president now.


B.I.P. PASSING THROUGH

February 3, 2009 

So we were on our way to a Chinese New Year party, and this was the convo we had.

Dad:
 I’m a B.I.P, we come early so we park in their garage.
Me and my sister: B.I.P?? You mean V.I.P?
Dad: No ! I’m B.I.P ! Berry Important Person, you know what I’m saying !


THAT’S HOW I DO

January 29, 2009 

Dad: I fixed the garage door opener today.
Me: I thought you hired someone to fix it.
Dad: I fixed it with money.


AMERICANS LIKE FOOD

January 29, 2009 

Last year, my family went to the wedding of a family friend who was marrying into a Caucasian family.

In the car on the way up:
Dad: What’s Helen’s husband’s name?
Me: The groom? Chase.
Dad: Cheese?
Me: No, Chaaaase.
Dad: Cheeeeese?
Me: Chaaaase.
Dad: Chaaaeeees?
Me: uh… better.

Later, during the reception, the groom’s younger brother walks by our table:

Dad: What’s Chese’s brother’s name?
Me: Silas.
Dad: What? SA-LA?! What’s with this family? One son called Cheese and the other Salad!


My Dad is a Fob.

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