Thursday, January 29, 2009

Friday Funny: Round Two

Thanks John!! This joke is my new favourite.

A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off but there's a woman still
getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is
killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's
Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat
in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers
the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds
of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is
still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never
happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets.
Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting
on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for
murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined
to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the
whole of Texas .

The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the
executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the
condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.
The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas . When the
smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The
executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once
again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time
killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The
executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I
have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands
over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner
pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke
rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be
alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that
green banana isn't it" he asked.

Nahh" said the bloke,

"I'm just a really bad conductor"

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