Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Teh Poneh Is On Hullidaze!


And won't be blogging til mid-January!! YAY!!!

Happy holidays!

xox

Santa's Family Tree


Jeffrey Vallance, who is apparently a Wildman chronicler and artist, has taken the time to sketch the genealogy of Santa and it is fascinating.

Ninjas Protest Pirate Festival

Merry Christmas Batman

Six Musicians Who Predicted Their Own Death In Song

Richie Rich feat. Tupac - "Niggas Done Changed"

"Let's just get it out of the way: Nobody knows who the hell Richie Rich is. According to the lyrics of this song, he's got a hand full of game. For all we know, that is still true. Maybe even a sack full of game by now. We don't care. The real star of this tune, featured on the Seasoned Veteran album, is Tupac Shakur. His verse on "Niggas Done Changed" is the stuff that conspiracy theories are made of.

 
This probably isn't the right one.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

"I been shot and murdered, can tell you how it happened word for word, 
But best believe niggas gon' get what they deserve."

What Happened Next:

Pac was shot and murdered, just like he said. The shooting happened on the strip in Vegas after a Mike Tyson fight. Obviously, at a time like that not many people were around, so nobody saw the shooter and the case remains unsolved. Unsolved for most people anyway. Some others are convinced they know exactly what happened. Tupac faked his own death! The logic went as follows: Since Italian philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli advocated faking one's own death, and Tupac used Makaveli as a stage name, then he must still be alive. That's shaky reasoning, even before you take into account that the real Machiavelli didn't actually say much of anything about faking your own death.

 
If he was dead, could he do this?

But when "Niggas Done Changed" was released less than two months following Tupac's death, the "Pac's Still Alive" movement was off and running, and it hasn't let up since. Group psychology experts contacted by Cracked attribute the movement's seeming refusal to die (sorry) to the fact that Tupac Shakur has released at least seventy-three studio albums since his death and also to the fact that he's totally alive, y'all."


Check them all out at Cracked.

The Ten Most Preposterous Rap Songs Of 2008


Check them all out at SF Weekly.

My favourite has to be Foxy Brown's assertion that "My na na na tastes like Jamaican kiki." Just as it should Miz Brown!


Overheard in New York


I Smell Sitcom!

Drunk high-class hooker: I wanna tell you a joke.
Drunk suit: Okay, what is it?
Drunk high-class hooker: What is the definition of "indefinitely"?
Drunk suit: I dunno, what?
Drunk high-class hooker: When your balls are against my ass, you're in... definitely!

--Del Frisco's Steak House

Overheard by: the itis


Overheard in New York.

All I Want For Christmas Is Slutty Nigella



In your endo!

Defamer Australia.

Monday, December 22, 2008

OMFG!!! Colour Your Own Wayfarers!!

Ray-Ban Wayfarer “Colorize” Kit

"The classic Wayfarer started to come back strong a couple of years ago. Before Ray-Ban could catch on, we saw brands such as Super create hundreds of colorways of the all-time classic and successfully releasing them into the market. After Ray-Ban finally knew what was going on, the brand also started releasing a couple of new colorways of the sunglasses.

Next year Ray-Ban will be releasing the “Colorize” kit, which much like Adicolor, bundles a pair of all white Ray-Ban Wayfarers with some markers that can be used to colorize the sunglasses. Interesting move, unseen in the sunglass market, but just like with Adicolor, the final outcome is in most cases questionable. Via Kanye/Acquire."


High Snobiety.

Geeky Christmas Ornaments


Happy Boba Fett-stive Season!!


Harry Potter and his owl. At least there is Christmas in the Harry Potter books, unlike in Star Wars *looks in Boba Fett's direction*


A yellow M&M dressed as Vader... Extra marks for double Christmas irrelevance.


And Predator baubles!


Some of these are kinda cool. And what the hell, there's no need to fight your inner geek at Christmas. You're not gonna get laid anyway. Unless you have a very open mind and a hot second cousin or something.


Check out all the geekery at Walyou.

Happy FUCK YEAH Holidays


Fuck Yeah Sharks.

Five Authors Who Were Perverts

5 ) T.E. Lawrence

5 More Famous Authors That Were Perverts telawrence

"Better known as Lawrence of Arabia, the Welsh archaeologist and British intelligence officer became famous because of his memoirs. Lawrence was celibate most of his life - claiming to have been raped and tortured by a Turk - and a pederast, but his most interesting perversion was the fact that he was a masochist. Lawrence used to hire a man, along with a witness, to beat him with birches under the claim that an uncle demanded it because Lawrence had stolen money. After the beatings he would ask them to write an account of the flogging which he would read later for kicks. In a sense, he was creating masochist porn for himself through himself. According to some of his biographers this wasn’t the first time either. There are doubts over if he ever had been raped and tortured or if it was just him writing out his masochistic fantasies and hiding them in plain sight."

Check out the other four at Ty.rannosaur.us.

I Am Neurotic


you’re in a febreze commercial…

Whenever I spray Febreze, I have to spray it slowly like they do in the commercial. Then when i\’m done spraying it, i have to smell the room and smile, like they also do in the commercial.

corduroy cooties

I cannot touch corduroy fabric, the touch is like sandpaper with its softness. Thin nor large strand I will not have this touch my being. I will not sit, touch, own, or come into contact with corduroy. My friends tease me about it, threatening to give me corduroy gifts. I will not take them, I say.

poopy toothbrush

Every time I am done using the toilet, I have to put down the lid before i flush, because I am afraid that all the particles from inside the toilet are attaching themselves to my toothbrush. When other people use my bathroom and I see that they didn’t put the lid down at all, I freak out and wash my toothbrush until I believe it’s clean again.









OMG. I actually feel the same way about courduroy.

Maury Christmas!


Maury is the best. And when he's not proving that your child is illegitimate you can be darn sure he is busy sending 12 year old sluts to boot camp. 

He's the closest thing to Jesus we have in this crazy mixed-up world of ours.

Monkeys for Helping.

A Christmas Prayer


Wrongcards.

Twenty Extreme Metal Album Covers


Goodness, I am glad this young man is obscuring the 'u' on his razor sharp codpiece. Would be a bit obscene otherwise.


Is it that twisted for a sister to want an enormous bone every now and then?


Subtle, but I am picking up on some subtext here. I think maybe the blade emerging from the toilet bowl represents the Holy Sword of Epic Metal, and its placement suggests it may be, metaphorically, thrust upwards into your rectum, which symbolises your soul. The title of the album seems to reflect this.


Boned has clearly reinterpreted Metallica's rectally inserted rock theme, adding latent homoerotic undertones. HOTT.


It is a well known fact that butchers are the most metal occupation in existence.


Anthrax LOVES fisting. A lot. 


Spike.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Eric Fortune





Another gorgeous Ohian artist.

Check his blog!

Just 2 Guyz by Lonely Island

Scott Radke





This guy is a marionette artist based in Cleveland, Ohio.

His puppets are unbelievable! They remind me of the goblin puppets in The Labyrinth. 

Check him out at Juxtapoz and his blog.

Coming To Town, Santa is!


And he is cute as a little Jedi button!

Alex Pardee





Alex Pardee is an artist who has combined his passions for graffiti and horror films to create amazingly, colourfully grotesque art. He also makes little plush toys which are adorable.

Check him out at Juxtapoz and his site EyeSuckInk.

Six Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain


Wow. Mental Floss is always a great read but this is fascinating. 

For example, the Voynich manuscript is an organised and illustrated book with a consistent text but it is in a language which no one, anywhere recognises. Military code-breakers, linguists and mathematicians have tried and failed to gauge the meaning of the manuscript but none have succeeded. We have no idea who wrote it or why. 


And the Antikythera mechanism is an ancient machine dating back to 100BC which was found in a shipwreck off Greece. The thing is that we have no idea who made it and it contains elements, such as gears, that otherwise were unknown until about 1,000 years later. The mechanism was used to work out astronomical positions.


And the Antikythera mechanism is an ancient machine dating back to 100BC which was found in a shipwreck off Greece. The thing is that we have no idea who made it and it contains elements, such as gears, that otherwise were unknown until about 1,000 years later. The mechanism was used to work out astronomical positions.


Mental Floss.

Fifteen Questionable Christmas Gifts


Squirrel feet earrings! Made from real freeze dried squirrel body parts.

SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!


Knitted dissected frog, for the scientist in your life perhaps?


Fundies! Sound funny until you realise you can't wear them out and they drastically impede any sexy times you may have been hoping to initiate by owning them. FAIL.


Enema jewellery. Actually a nod to the little-known tradition of giving enema-related gifts to celebrate your 103 wedding anniversary. 


Inventor Spot.

Laurie Hogin





Paints incredibly-coloured animals and they are absolutely amazing.

Post Secret




Post Secret.

Build this Bong


Stuck for Christmas gift ideas for that special weed-smoker in your life? 

Check out Amazon for Build this Bong, diagrams and instructions for making 4o different bongs, hookahs and water pipes. With a bonus lesson on making your own vapouriser!!

'Tis the season!