Sunday, November 30, 2008

Margarita Surnaite




Creepy beautiful.

Juxtapoz.

Hello Kitty Makes An Appearance At The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade


Kawaii!

Ten Incredibly Dangerous Doctors

WHOA! And I thought the bulk billings doctors at uni were bad!

10. Edward Bodkin

10 Incredibly Dangerous Doctors edwardbodkin

On the other extreme of testicles is Bodkin, a Bill Maher lookalike who was arrested for performing 5 unlicensed castrations in in 1999. He was going to perform a 6th until the man got cold feet and informed police Bodkin intended to castrate young boys. Bodkin advertised his services as a cutter - an underground surgeon - in ball fetishism magazines with the stipulation that the castrati allow him to sell tapes of the process. He kept his “trophies” in jars next to his fridge. When the state prosecutor was asked for a motive, he responded: “I can’t sit here as a reasonable human being and give you an intelligent answer to that.”

From ty.rannosaur.us.

Six Names You Should NOT Name Your Child

1. BATMAN

dark-knight.jpg"Venezuelans are among the world’s most creative namers. In fact, according to their own government, they’re too creative. In September 2007, after hearing about babies named Superman and Batman, state authorities urged parents to pick their names from an approved list of 100 common Spanish monikers. Those conventional names (such as Juanita and Miguel) quickly acquired a patrician ring, ironically giving rise to more novel names, like Hochiminh (after the Vietnamese guerilla) and Eisenhower (after the president). There are also at least 60 Venezuelans with the first name Hitler.

2. ECLIPSE GLASSES

Picture 51.pngIn June 2001, a total solar eclipse was about to cross southern Africa. To prepare, the Zimbabwean and Zambian media began a massive astronomy education campaign focused on warning people not to stare at the Sun. Apparently, the campaign worked. The locals took a real liking to the vocabulary, and today, the birth registries are filled with names like Eclipse Glasses Banda, Totality Zhou, and Annular Mchombo.

3. NAAKTGEBOREN

When Napoleon seized the Netherlands in 1810, he demanded that all Dutchmen take last names, just as the French had done decades prior. Problem was, the Dutch had lived full and happy lives with single names, so they took absurd surnames in a show of spirited defiance. These included Naaktgeboren (born naked), Spring int Veld (jump in the field), and Piest (pisses). Unfortunately for their descendants, Napoleon’s last-name trend stuck, and all of these remain perfectly normal Dutch names today.

4. VLADIMIR ASHKENAZY

iceland2.jpgThe people of Iceland take their names very seriously. The country permits no one—not even immigrants—to take or keep foreign surnames. So what happened when esteemed Russian maestro Vladimir Ashkenazy asked to become an Icelandic citizen? Well, the government finally decided to make an exception. Vladimir Ashkenazy is now on the short list of approved Icelandic names.

5. YAZID

Imam Husayn ibn Ali is one of the holiest figures in the Shi’ite Muslim faith. In the 7th century CE, he lost his head on the orders of the Sunni caliph, Yazid, and the decapitation initiated the biggest schism in Islamic history. While the name Yazid remains common among Sunnis, it is disdained throughout the Shi’a world. The stigma attached to it is equivalent to naming one’s son Stalin or Hitler. Speaking of which…

6. ADOLF

Memories of death camps and fascism have kept parents from christening their kids Adolf for quite some time. But one unlucky youngster acquired the name in 1949. He was the son of William Patrick Hitler—the dictator’s nephew, who moved to America in the 1930s to fight against his uncle. It isn’t clear why William preserved the name, but his four sons (including Alexander Adolf Hitler, now 57) made a pact to never have children in an effort to stunt der Fuehrer’s family tree at its branches."


Mental Floss.

Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet

"STONY BROOK, NY—In a dramatic reversal of decades-old medical wisdom, the late Dr. Albert Rossum, director of the O'Bannon Institute For Postmortem Nutritional Studies, recommended an all-brain diet for zombies Tuesday.

 Zombie nutritionist

Dr. Albert Rossum (1940-1991) announces the findings.

"Our research indicates that live human brains are not merely the cornerstone of a healthy diet; they are, in fact, the only food an active adult zombie should consume at all," Rossum said during a press conference at the institute, located at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. "A daily three-pound serving of brains supplies all the vital sugars, neurons, and ganglia essential to promoting zombie fitness and slowing the decomposition process."

The Rossum Plan challenges the traditional zombie food pyramid, which consists of five to seven daily servings of human hearts, three to four servings of livers or eyeballs, and two servings of brains. Instead, Rossum advocates a four-level pyramid, with all four levels consisting of as many servings of brains as possible.

"Ideally, the brains should be consumed fresh from the head of the victim," said Rossum, widely considered the nation's leading expert in the field of undead nutrition. "However, precious scraps of brain may also be pried from the fingers of other brain-crazed zombies. Failing that, dropped brains may be slurped from the ground by a third party to such a scuffle."

Added Rossum: "Braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnns!""



From The Onion.

Monday Awwww


Sleepy kitteh!

Oldest Weed Stash Ever Discovered


"Researchers say they have located the world’s oldest stash of marijuana, in a tomb in a remote part of China.

The cache of cannabis is about 2,700 years old and was clearly "cultivated for psychoactive purposes," rather than as fibre for clothing or as food, says a research paper in the Journal of Experimental Botany.

The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China.

The extremely dry conditions and alkaline soil acted as preservatives, allowing a team of scientists to carefully analyze the stash, which still looked green although it had lost its distinctive odour.

"To our knowledge, these investigations provide the oldest documentation of cannabis as a pharmacologically active agent," says the newly published paper, whose lead author is American neurologist Dr. Ethan B. Russo.

Remnants of ancient cannabis have been found in Egypt and other sites, and the substance has been referred to by authors such as the Greek historian Herodotus. But the tomb stash is the oldest so far that could be thoroughly tested for its properties."


From the very chrons Chronicle Herald.

Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Fungi


Ask what your fungi can do for you! Heaps of stuff apparently, from Vegemite to beer, bread and orchids. Penicillin and LSD are also ours due to fungi...

Read the article at BBC News Magazine.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

My Dad Is A FOB

Dads on pop culture

Watching American Music AwardsJimmy Kimmel is hosting, introduces award presenters Paris Hilton and T-Pain:

Me: Hahaha, nice hat! I love T-pain!
Dad (In Chinglish): Ooooh! Is that the Black Eyed Peas guy?!
Me: Nah, Pops, you’re thinking about will.i.am.
Dad: Eh, these hip-hop guys all look the same…
Mom (In Chinese)What a stupid comment! Son, yell at him for racism!
Dad: He’s dressed like a pimp. Who is that, his ho?
Me: No, that’s Paris Hilton.
Dad: Oh, not just his ho — everyone’s ho! HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!


My Dad Is A Fob.

American Boy/Shut Up Mash Up

Wondermark


Modern greeting cards in the tradition of someecards.

Charming Crystal Meth Kitchen Linocut


It can be yours at Etsy.

Keyboard For Blondes



OMG! I'm not blonde but I want this. It's a BRIGHT PINK keyboard with a LOL and OMG key and an "I need my space bar". LOL! Also it says "oops" when you hit backspace and "ching ching" when you make a dollar sign. And it's on fifty bucks!!

Isn't it terribly demeaning to women, the way it reinforced negative "ditz" stereotypes...

*bolts to find $50... CHING CHING*

New York Daily.

The Vampire Tarot








Ghoulishly gorgeous!

The Chemical Egg.

Cockney Bible


Some git has translated the good book!

"Jesus heals some geezer 
(Matthew 8; 1 - 4, Luke 5; 12 - 16)

"THERE was this geezer who had leprosy (some dodgy skin disease), and he came to Jesus, fell on his biscuits and said, "If you want to, please make me clean." 
    Jesus felt really sorry for the geezer. He stretched out his Ramsgate and touched the geezer, Jesus said, "Be clean." 
    Well would you Adam and Eve it, the disease left the geezer immediately and he was clean. 
    Jesus then said quite seriously to him as he sent him on his way, "Now don't tell anyone about this, will ya? Go straight to the priest and he'll check you out, and then make sure you offer up a little sacrifice that Moses rabbit and porked about and that'll prove to all the prople that you're clean. 
    But the geezer was so happy, he started to tell people everywhere what had happened. In fact, he rabbit and porked about it so much that Jesus couldn't go into town publicly. He 'ad to stay out in the country, and people came to see him from all over the place."

Tokyo's Themed Restaurants

Tokyo is world renowned for its incredible cuisine and amazing restaurants but it is also totally into randomly-themed eateries. 

The 'Wizard of the Opera' is gothic opera themed and 'Princess Heart' evokes the frilly world of Disney Princesses, replete with man servants and desserts shaped like hearts and clocks.



At the Vampire Cafe you can get a tasty salad served in a tasteful coffin!


Ninja Asakasa is a maze-like cavernous restaurant where masked waiters serve you stealthily.


At Namahage restaurant waiters dressed at demons will bring your food to the table in semi-darkeness. Apparently surprisingly popular with families.


The Christian Cafe is located in the heart of Tokyo's red light district and is adorned with numerous madonnas, gargoyles and a huge, glowing crucufied Christ. And your cocktail will arrive with a crucifix swizzle stick. Mmmm Mmmm!



Alcatraz ER is probably the weirdest one! A blend of prison chic and medical drama. When diners arrive they are handcuffed and administered a fake injection in the rear end! Presumably an intravenous aperitif. 


The Guardian.

Friday Funny/Popbitch Bits


Q. What does a Catholic priest & a pint of Guinness 
have in common?

A. Black coat, white collar & you've got to 
watch your arse if you get a dodgy one.

Popbitch's favourite scientist from the University 
of Geneva: Professor Beat Imhof. 

Popbitch.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Style Don't Get Old, It Just Gets Radder


Welcome to me, circa 2065.

Nanna Undies: DO NOT WANT


Accordion Guy.

Baroque Obama


And I'm Not Lying.

I Kissed A Grill... And It Wasn't All That


B3ta.

BlahBlahBlahFish


"BlahblahFish takes your English text and translates it into another language, then translates it back into English. The results can be pretty strange. I used the phrase “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Japanese: It heats heart truly and [re] physical weakness does.

Italian: The spirit is arranged, but the meat is weak person.

Greek: The spirit is willing, but the flesh is impossible.

Spanish: The alcohol is prepared, but the meat is weak.

Korean: The spirit puts out the flag and does, the flesh omits but.

Chinese: Having more desire than energy.

Croatian: sprite had like to , limit meat had withered.

Hungarian: THE genius there is willing , but the meat there is weak.

Norwegian: Breath am willing , but carnal am breakable ,.

Romanian: the spirit is William , but the. flesh is loose.

Serbian: The genius 3. wis with IT BE from present compliant , but the meat 3. wis with IT BE from present withered.

Slovenian: wind there is yieldly , till then meat there is weak.

Welsh: ‘ group ghost he is being willing , except ‘ group meat he is being ‘ heartburn weak.

Latin: ghost is voluntary , nothwithstanding viscera is pale."


Neatorama.

Goth Cruise


FINALLY! Someone's made a doco about goths at sea! 

Theyz in ur boat! Stealin ur SPF85001!

Videogum.

FUCK YEAH SHARKS









In the grand tradition of LOLCats, FailDogs and LOLGriffins I present FUCK YEAH SHARKS.

EPIC LULZ.

My Little Caterpillar


OMG! SOOOOOOO CUTE!

This was customised by funshinebear on My Little Pony Arena.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Bumper Post Secret Wednesday


Some secrets reinforce your faith in humanity,


And some diminish it.


Some make you smile,


And others make you shudder.

Pure Schadenfreude

STOP PRESS!! Everyone, everywhere hates George Dubya!

OK, it's not news, but it makes great watching. Bush gets snubbed by everyone at the G20 summit.



Poor guy. He finally figures out what the hell the G20 is and when he gets there everyone fucking hates him and he has to sit by himself at lunch.

Bwahahahahahahahaha!! Your uppance has come Georgie. Now fuck off and let Obama show you how you should have done it.

Best Church Ever


Link.

Twenty-Two Worst Xmas Gifts


Hahahaha. This one I'd be pretty happy to receive. Poo-Pourri - to unstink your little girls' room. Cute...


Apparently the No No is a device which removes unsightly hairs from your groinal region BY BURNING THEM OFF. No no thank you!


This is billed as a "Military Command Post" when it is actually a doll's house which didn't sell and has been shoddily converted into something marketable to boys during the Christmas period.


Fishy Porthole Belt Buckle. You can buy this online from Robin Charlotte. Cuh-razy! Are they entombed in resin?? Gross.

See them all in all their glory at Esquire.