Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I Am Neurotic

sentence starts

i avoid starting sentences with a capital ‘A’, even if it means i have to omit the whole sentence. something about the way it looks makes me uncomfortable. no other letter seems to bother me, but i feel best about starting with a capital ‘O’.

kitty neuroses

My cat cannot be around anyone holding or even touching a guitar. He has no problem with a guitar on the wall, sitting on the bed next to him or music being played by a guitar. A person reaching for one makes him high tail it into another room.

fortune cookie new year’s resolution

Whenever I get a fortune cookie, I take out the fortune and put it in my purse. When I get home, I put the fortune into a ziplock baggie and I don’t read the fortune. Every new years eve, I take out the baggie and read all my fortunes. If I like one, I will put it in my pocket, so it will be with me when we go into the new year. If I dislike the fortune, I throw it into the fire as soon as possible. I don’t want to have any bad fortunes. I have been doing this for 15 years. I have a section of my closet that has 15 ziplock baggies (all of the good fortunes). I don’t want to throw them away. And when I die, all of my fortunes will be with me.

I Am Neurotic.

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