Thursday, November 27, 2008

Cockney Bible


Some git has translated the good book!

"Jesus heals some geezer 
(Matthew 8; 1 - 4, Luke 5; 12 - 16)

"THERE was this geezer who had leprosy (some dodgy skin disease), and he came to Jesus, fell on his biscuits and said, "If you want to, please make me clean." 
    Jesus felt really sorry for the geezer. He stretched out his Ramsgate and touched the geezer, Jesus said, "Be clean." 
    Well would you Adam and Eve it, the disease left the geezer immediately and he was clean. 
    Jesus then said quite seriously to him as he sent him on his way, "Now don't tell anyone about this, will ya? Go straight to the priest and he'll check you out, and then make sure you offer up a little sacrifice that Moses rabbit and porked about and that'll prove to all the prople that you're clean. 
    But the geezer was so happy, he started to tell people everywhere what had happened. In fact, he rabbit and porked about it so much that Jesus couldn't go into town publicly. He 'ad to stay out in the country, and people came to see him from all over the place."

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